sweetie, i changed my blog address. hope you don't mind. don't take it to heart, ok? i know if i tell you not to go there, you won't coz i trust you. but it's just for my own peace. i have so much in my mind right now that i'm not ready to share yet. hope you understand sweetie. me luvs u.

sure. i won't really take it to heart, but sorry ar.. i have to say this.. i feel sad when i see your message.. coz i can visit your page anymore. it's ok.. i know you have your own reason. i have already got the privilege to read your entries from apr to oct.. you are already very generous. i will respect your decision. nevertheless, i feel happy at the same time. in fact, in order not make me feel bad (this is what you thought, not me!), you can simply create a new blog, copy and paste everythin there without tellin me. but you didn't do that. thanks for bein honest to me all the time.. i hope you will share with me again when you feel like it. okok? (wah.. see, i'm so positive! i didn't think negatively this time. hee.. i can do it, so can you)

for other people, same scenario (feelin bad for him/herself or suffer in a depression), i will feel sorry for them. for you, i won't feel sorry for you but somehow, i can feel the pain. when i see you feelin down, i'm down too. when i see you sad, i feel, not only pain, but very, unimaginable pain. sometimes, i wonder if we were sisters in our past life ;p i don't want to see you sad, that's why i was tryin to minimize your pain by stoppin you from doin somethin, which didn't lighten your pain, at all. and i'm sorry for that. i hope this para will not stop you from sharin your thoughts. don't worry, i'm not feelin bad about myself anymore. i was lost when you sharin your down feelings with me last time. i didn't handle it well, i admit it. but now, i've straightened my mind. whatever that is uncontrollable in your mind, i won't force you to follow the standard correct way. instead of drivin for you, i'll watch you drive your way, scratches are okay. at least you learn from mistakes along the way. i'll stop you when you really goin to hit the lamppost or wall.. haha ;p

so.. can you don't tell me that you are ok when you are not? at least i can be there when you need me.

i hope the "so much" on your mind is not that you cannot get over on some things, some people, or whatsoever.. not easy to get over some things.. i have a strong feelin that you are still.. hmm, i won't say it for now. if not you will say i don't trust you. anyway.. even that is the reason, it's ok.. you can keep yourself in the torturin world.. but you have to give yourself a timeline. walk out after you have tortured yourself enough. make sure you will walk out from there, ok? i don't want you to die inside and JJ will blame me that i told you that you can stay in the dark world ar.. =p

i hope you can start enjoyin your life there. just bear in mind that you haven't gave up your life. you are just steppin onto the next level, a tougher level. don't forget.. NN is blur.. but B is a very strong person at work. nothin can beat her from completin tasks. agree? B's life isn't only about cleanin the house, watch dvd, listenin to the music, go class, go gym, high tea, shoppin, fb'in.. what you need now is a real focus. i understand it's very hard to find jobs there. i'm not forcin you to take up a job that you don't like too. but in a foreign country, you cannot be too picky. just grab whatever is available.. don't mind even a fresh entry position. you are not lookin for a job now, but a somethin that you can be focus in. you will then look for a job after you have some workin experience after a period of time. life is like playin games. you cannot go straight to the final stage when you are not familiar with the game at all. you will die flat very soon. also, you will miss the fun and valuable tips from the beginnin.. agree? =]

this is somethin for you to think about on this blue blue monday. hmm, i hope i didn't ruin your mondy thou.. after a long-winded reply, what i want to tell you in short is, i'm still lovin you and you can count on me at anytime. let me worry about you (although i really feel like givin up on the stubborn you sometimes.. haha).

perk up and think straight! =]

today is the day that jason and jade become a real official husband and wife after they attached for more than 5 years and a year after their ROM. too bad his dad is not being able to see him havin this chinese customary today..

from the time when we see them at furama hotel's entrance, settle ourselves at table 21, see them marched into the ballroom, watched the video clip that shows the two of them from strangers to couple.. everythin was so sweet..

beside the 4 of us - me, T, M, and Tom, we were at the same table with Y boo, G quah, and K toh. also the earlier generation of JS - lina, yvonne, and rachel. the whole table with first gen, second gen and third gen staffs from JS. of coz, the first and second gen was wonderin why the third gen is still with JS. funny..

S$100 ang pow was gone.. but of coz, i gave it with full of good wishes and blessings. wish them to live happily ever after.. just like the fairy tale..